kitchen disasters

I've just finished making jam--not too bad, but not great, and it hasn't actually gelled yet--and a nice plate of apricot bars. Our trees are overloaded with apricots, and they're way too good to waste. So I've been busy.

I make tasty eats, but I'm a mess as a cook. Think Tigger, as in bouncy Tigger from Winnie the Pooh. The Tigger who bounces off walls, breaks things, and gets honey all over his whiskers. That's me.

My mom despairs of me. It's been hard for her to have me living with her again these past two months, especially when I cook. My mom just sort of quietly follows along behind me wherever I go, damp rag in hand to mop up any residue. But she has her limits. Before I started the apricot bars, she came in and demanded to know--in a somewhat hostile voice, I thought--what I was making. After I told her, she rolled her eyes and said, in resignation, "Just clean up, will you?"

I have picked up one or two of my mom's lessons, like the one about always shutting your drawers before you cook. This minimizes some (though not all!) of the potential damage of which I am capable. Of course, sometimes I forget, dump over a cup of coffee, and end up having to empty all the drawers because they now have a 1/2 inch of nice black coffee in the bottom of them. But mostly I try to remember about that.

Still, there's lots and lots more chaos I can render. The other day I managed to drop the electric mixer I was using to make cookies. (The mixer was still beating.) Cookie dough whizzed everywhere....walls, ceilings, etc. And on Thanksgiving a few years back, I turned on the garbage disposal after peeling mounds of potato skins into it. The sink erupted like a volcano straight up into the air. There was icky black potato paste everywhere. Because, just in case you don't cook and don't know, potatoes turn black almost immediately after exposure to oxygen, forming a nasty sticky goo instead of the nice crisp potato wedges you expect.

I still think the mess is worth it. Good food is always worth it. And better to have it fast and messy than slow and have to wait several hours to get it, even if the kitchen is neater that way. Right?