So if you're ever around a person with cancer....

It must be impossible to predict how cancer is going to affect the people around you. I've read that dealing with loved ones and their reactions is one of the most stressful aspects of this particular disease.

So many people don't know what to do and just back off. They justify their reactions by telling themselves they don't want to put any pressure on you, even when you're just dying for someone to write even a 2-sentence email to tell you they're thinking about you.

And then still others, including some of the people closest to you, become demanding and overly expectant, interfering, hustling you into doing things you aren't up for, and taking umbrage at everything you say, no matter what it was or how you intended it. They get mad at you, and you don't even know why.

I'd heard before that this is one of the things that cancer victims find most difficult to deal with while they're trying to recover: the reactions and expectations of even their immediate family. When you have cancer there's just not that much you can do for everyone else. You may have been the most thoughtful person in the world at one time, but an illness like cancer doesn't leave much room for anything else. The bottom line is that you're not the same. You're trying to survive and you've got no promise you're going to. There are things you can't do anymore and things you can't be for other people. And the possibility is always there that maybe you never will be any of those things again.

But it's not like you did it deliberately.