Sometimes these pieces of my reality hit me, and they hit me so hard I can hardly recover. They knock me sideways so that my head spins, and I lose my sense of who I am, where I am, what I can do to make myself feel better.
Recovering from the vertigo takes concentration. It takes sitting down, maybe eating a little something. Looking at my blog helps, because it reminds me how far I've come. And it reminds me that I've had moments of panic like this before, and that they pass.
And it reminds me that a life can always be made back up again. There's time: we have plenty of time.
That's what I really need to know to reassure myself: that it will all still be here when I get back.
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