wow

So I woke up today feeling almost completely normal. There's slight tingling and numbness still on the right side, but no disorientation and very little inhibition of my physical capacities. My right foot doesn't feel all floppy, and I didn't have to worry about careening down the staircase for the first time since mid-November, when I first became worried about the symptoms that led to my diagnosis. It's one of the first times I've felt almost the way I used to.

I was wondering if the tingling in my hand these past few weeks was perhaps a good sign. Except that it's really not a pleasant feeling, so it's been bothering me for a while. It feels almost like when your arm or leg falls asleep and then the circulation starts to come back again. It feels creepy and awful. At the same time, though, I kept hoping that maybe that maybe the tingling was a positive development signaling that the sensation was starting to come back at last.

But it just kept dragging on so long. And the tingling--which is still there--gets in the way of any other sensory input on that side, so I still wasn't really able to assess whether what I was feeling was an improvement, or whether it was just a hideous sign that the treatment had failed and my tumor was getting bigger.

Today is so much better, though. I feel really hopeful--without the false optimism of the steroid!--that I'm going to be normal again. Or normal-ish.

I'd definitely settle for normalish.