how to botch your karma

Sadly, I've become so used to being bald that I've become quite comfortable wandering around the house with nothing covering up my bald pate. And then, having forgotten, I try to go out in public like that--to pick up the mail, drag back the trashcans, etc. So far I've always managed to stop myself at the last minute, but it's only a matter of time before my true appearance is made known. And then children and squeamish old ladies will flee in terror before me.

That will just make me so sad.

See, the thing is, I just need to avoid attracting bad karma right now. I know I have blown it this year already. I realized this yesterday, when I went for a walk and witnessed the mailman violently shaking the mailbox unit down the street and yelling, "It's just not right! It's just not right!"

Apparently someone had not picked up their mail in a timely manner, and we get SO MUCH junk mail around here that the box had become all packed in so that he couldn't get any more stuff in it. Which would mean he had to take the mail back to the post office and do that much more work--plus I think he might have injured himself attacking that unit of boxes.

So this was a horrifying revelation, because I have been guilty of doing this very thing. I let a few days go by without picking up my mail because hey, it's a locked box, and I figure it's perfectly safe and it's mostly junk mail anyway. I wasn't really thinking about the poor guy on the other side.

Of course, once I knew, I apologized to the mailman on behalf of myself and all of humanity. But I don't think it was enough.

And so it appears that I've used up my "botch your karma" allotment for the year. I'm thinking I better play it very cool with this bald-head business. I don't want to take any chances.

'Cause some women can look pretty good bald....but I'm not one of them.