every day is Christmas

Well, this has been quite a ride. I'm home from the hospital now, after four days in getting my brain biopsied and mapped. I never, ever would have thought this would happen to me--that I'd be getting brain surgery and chemo and the whole shebang. But it did happen, and it's okay. It's just another little thing that happens in life. It's all different and it's all interesting.

And for my friends who are looking for specifics, know that I'm on an aggressive treatment plan, and things look pretty promising, which is all any of us ever need to know. And I have a really good feeling about things. The very day I walked into the hospital I thought, it's going to be okay. It's not what I thought I saw coming down the path, but it's okay.

So I want to thank everyone for being there--online, visibly, or invisibly. These communities matter so much. I knew that before, but I really know it now. It doesn't matter if you see people or not, as long as they're there.

But I want to say more than that. I'm realizing how much we all touch each other in these tiny, unfathomable ways. I've been touched by people I barely know or have never met at all, in some phenomenal, fundamental ways, either by reading their work or by being told about their experiences by someone else altogether. It all matters, in ways I registered before but didn't fully appreciate. Now I know, and knowing that little thing is an amazing gift.

I'll be writing more on this--I've been thinking about it a lot, actually. For now, I'm relearning how to walk--though not quite from scratch! And I'm getting used to the strange sensations I'm now getting from what I like to call my necrotic arm. All very weird--but again, not bad, just different from what it used to be.