being heard

I was patiently explaining the recipe for a lemon drop martini to my husband tonight--a recipe he had explicitly asked for and so, presumably, would be interested in hearing the answer to. I had to explain it three times. I had to explain where I got it from three times. Three times he asked me what adjustments I had made to the original. All of this, of course, had been explained the first time around, when I had provided the recipe he'd requested in full, with all the relevant context.

But that didn't matter. He wasn't listening, and so he had to hear it all over again. He wasn't listening the second time, either.

And so on.

Which got me thinking about the classroom. In general, I explain things once. I tell students, "This is how you should do quotes." And then I put it on the board. I tell them, "This is how many sources you should have in your annotated bibliography." I write the number down for them. I tell them, "Whenever you write a literary analysis, use this method."

And of course, they hear none of it, go on writing papers in their usual haphazard way, and complain at the end that they've learned nothing.

It is most aggravating.

But talking to my husband, I realized that perhaps I've been giving way too much credit to the average human intellect and response capability. Perhaps everyone really DOES need to hear it three times. Perhaps there needs to be a pop quiz after every information session--something my husband always likes to do to me, and something which, incidentally, I find so patronizing that I would never dream of doing it to anyone else.

But obviously I've been too optimistic? The fact that I happen to listen when people speak, or that I love to take other people's advice, doesn't mean anyone else is that way. Perhaps everyone else needs to hear things repeated, say, an average of three times in a half-hour period. Or is it three times? Perhaps it is four. I wish I knew the magic number. I'd simply plug in my auto-repeat mechanism and everyone would be right on course.

Could it be that simple?

Anyway, here is the recipe for the lemon drop:

2 shots Ketel One Citroen Vodka
1 shot lemon juice
1 tsp simple syrup: made from 1 tsp hot water and 2 tsp superfine (baker's) sugar, mixed until dissolved.

Pour all the ingredients into a martini shaker and serve over ice. To really do this right, you should first wet the edges of the martini glasses with lemon juice and then dip the rims into sugar.

Yum.